You have to love Interracial Love Magazine. No other magazine truly gives you a perspective on interracial dating from a woman’s side… but also from the man’s!
Only Interracial Love Magazine truly brings you the heat!
Being white carries an enormous burden in dating sistas. For Caucasian men, how do we know which black women are available for dating? (Is there like a secret handshake or something?) And how can black women identify which white men are into them?
Here’s the answer. It doesn’t matter! Why? Because ALL black women potentially could be your girlfriend. Must black women always have to declare their stance on interracial dating to be “in the clear” for you to approach? When a white woman rejects you, you rarely come to the conclusion it is your color. You just weren’t “her type.” So, if a black women turned you down, would you brush it off as her not having an interest in dating white men? Think about it. You just because you adore black women does that mean you are attracted to all of them?
This author's take - getting personal
Me? I stay clear of black women with a history of dating white men. It’s just not for me. I want to target a black woman who would never consider dating outside her race. Black women who have adopted characters and traits that they perceive makes them more marketable to white men will be disappointed when they see that I have different tastes than the "everyday white guy".
Like what? I love soul food. I love wide hips and a fat, round ass. I love weave. I can dance. I love soul and R&B. (From Mary Wells, to the Isley Brothers, to Luther, to Phyllis, to Anita, to Dionne Warwick, to the SOS Band! I confess, I love falsetto soul!) My point is that I have already been exposed to years of black culture and nuances. I don't have those awkward moments of cultural indifference that most white men are supposed to have on a daily basis.
My pursuit of black booty has either changed me or allowed me to be the person I really am. Either way, you won’t get the chance to experience white culture with me like you could with a typical white man. I’m too black! (Laughs) But, not in a "wigger" way. More of in a sophisticated, classy way.
Now I know there are many conventional black women who are not attracted to white men or the concept of interracial dating. I can respect that. But would you be offended if a white male showed a romantic interest you? Of course you wouldn’t! And I am willing to bet that many black women have never been approached by a potential suitor of the “melanin-challenged” persuasion (white). More black women could possibly succumb to the advances of white men if we were more aggressive in that aspect, right?
The reality, for most of you white guys, is that you’ll never know the pleasures of interracial dating because dating to you consists of a mouse and keyboard. If the internet is your only access to black women, you are seriously limiting the dating pool.
Look, I’m not going to tell you that I endorse all things black. But, we have to “come out of our shell” if we want exposure. Face it, our cities are very segregated. If you wanted, you could easily live out your days with as little contact to black people as you wanted. If you have a true desire to meet black women, you’ll have to get into their world. You’ll need to know where they party, where they shop, where they eat, and where they go to church.
How else will you ever find your black queen?
3 comments:
Actually these may be "preferences" but they sound a bit like a few stereotypes as well. I have dated white men all my dating life, not because I was looking to increase my own financial security (I take care of that myself thank you very much) nor have I become some black clone of a Barbie doll prepackaged to appeal to a white guy's idea of a black women. Rather it began in college, a white liberal arts college in a ritzy glitzy suburb where there may have been 25 black people outside of the myriad of service staff that came in to take care of the ritzy glitzy homes and gardens. I wanted to date and decided if that was to be, then I better not to let my own fears and stereotypes nor those of the outside world get in the way. I did this up to and including my marriage (divorced now). And will admit if anything is a problem, it's this experiences have made me an outsider in my own community with the exception of black men who are nerd-geeks (on a whole, I do find that black professional men in my area do not date black women).
"Black women who have adopted characters and traits that they perceive makes them more marketable to white men will be disappointed when they see that I have different tastes than the "everyday white guy"."
Your preference for interracial dating virgins is fine. Your assumption that black women who have dated interracially somehow alter their personas to fit the white mold is not fine.
I was raised on not only Motown but also African, Afro-Latin and classic rock music by my single African mother. I was raised in an odd community that was comprised of many interracial and multicultural families. People got along well. I say it's odd because it's not at all like the rest of America. Coming from said town, I never felt a need to conform to some black girl mold. I love to dance and I have a booty, but I would take my neighbor's masala over the best Soul Food in the world all day, every day. I listen to The Killers and Estelle and Taylor Swift and Kanye and Donny Hathaway and the Beatles and Chrisette Michelle and pretty much everything else. I'm not entirely sure how weaves are done. I am attracted to all sorts of men with clear preferences only for men of certain nationalities (Japanese, Swiss, Croat, Cuban, Argentine, Persian, Indian, Peruvian). Despite this, I've only dated certified WASPs (White Anglo-Saxon Protestants), one of whom informed me towards the end of our relationship that he'd only marry a white chick. Sadly, I am a WASP magnet and non-WASP men only express interest in bedding me (though I'd prefer this to dating a white American guy for whom I am a rite o' passage, something to be crossed off some bucket list after a few months).
These traits are part of who I am and have nothing to do with getting a white guy. I am actually toying with the idea of moving to another country like Bhutan so I'd HAVE to end up with someone else but I feel like the sole white American guy in the country would someone find me and with my HappyTown upbringing, my brain would force me to give it a go because of course, my brain believes that all people are unique and the many aforementioned stereotypes have little basis in reality. My brain is a glutton for punishment and my heart would probably like to secede at this point.
Bianca,
I deeply appreciate the time and care you took to share your preferences and dating history with us and the rest of the Interracial Love Magazine community. It was genuine and heartfelt. We thank you for that.
It IS a big step to go from casually dating a black woman to then taking it to the next level.
I encourage black women, early on in their interracial relationship to determine the extent to which it may lead.
At least your previous relationship was honest with you, although he did waste your time.
Don't move to Bhutan! There's plenty of other comparable WASPy guys to go around! Sometimes what we seek is a lot closer than we think.
Your good friends at
Interracial Love Magazine
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