White Men Having To Overcome Interracial Dating Myths

On Interracial Love Magazine, we like to occasionally request white men with recent experience from interracial dating sites, to write a guest post for us regarding their experience.

We think it's very important for black women to understand the psyche of white men in order to reduce some of the "mystery" that prevents the type of "dynamic connection" we would like to see much more often.

In our last guest post, Why Do Black Women Lie On Their Online Dating Profiles? , we got a chance to look into our guest writer's challenges with inconsistency in online dating profiles and what they experienced in person. We actually thought that was a tremendous post.

Are you familiar with Interracial Love Magazine? We are probably the only true site on the entire internet that discusses the issues between black women and white men, that are important to you. It has to be relevant, intelligent, well-written, controversial, and most-of-all, entertaining.

With that being said, let's get into the guest post, shall we?

Interracial dating sites are not new to me. I am glad they were created. Before then, all races and ethnicities were "dumped" into any generalized, online dating sites. Often, when we tried to message a black woman, she rarely responded. I can just imagine the look of puzzlement when she saw my portfolio. 

These sites did not represent white males, like myself, who had a strong desire for "chocolate." Once the influx of interracial dating sites were developed, I joined. Hey, why not?

Since I live in a large, metropolitan area, I probably have a good chance of actually meeting black women face-to-face...and I have on many occasions.

I've found black women to be pretty easy to read:

1) No Chemistry: This is going to be a short date. Her tone is somewhat indifferent...very matter-of-fact and labored. She's just not into me.

I dunno...perhaps her friends convinced her all white guys were "closet racists." 

2) She's pretending: She has a strong character in her real life, but she's repressing it by trying to portray an image that is meant to suit me. She may be interested, but this false exchange is tiresome. She might be uncomfortable dating interracially or trying to hide elements of her personal life.

Best thing to do here is to "be yourself." Advice: white guys can sense you're putting on an act. Trying to look genuinely interested is polite, but we can tell.

3) She's hot for you: This can be very flattening - but you can not be sure why?

Perhaps this could be the reason:

a) She's curious about sex with a white guy. You look decent enough and she's determined to cure her curiosity. Booty is guaranteed. Only you could screw this one up.

b) She's lonely.

i. Hey, hatin' on black men 24-7 is hard work. It's a lonely, thankless job. Because of this bold statement on the present condition of black men, there has not been a lot of dating goin' on in her life.

Black women rarely share their negative views on black men with us. Why? Because when they say it, it's acceptable. If we begin to agree, we are looked at in a different light. White guys: stay neutral on this topic. You starting to spout statistics you heard about the number of black men in college or in jail, will have her jamming her legs shut -- forever!

ii. She works a lot / has been in a dry spell. It happens. Perhaps she's sent too many online winks, chatted too often, and wrote too many e-mails, with little result.

iii. She's trying to intertwine her life with yours. She may see you as an opportunity to experience new things and will push the intimacy to win you over.

c) There's real chemistry. You are both attracted to each other. Conversation is fun and stimulating. You're both hinting on extending this first date to more, many more. 

More Thoughts On Black Women 

Because I desire black women, does not mean I am willing to overlook certain things.

My expectation for dating would be the same whether I dated my own race or not. I am looking for a women who is considerate and respectful, would make a good role model to our children, is educated, well-spoken, confident, attractive, passionate, has made good decisions, is from a good family, is honest, commited, and faithful, and shares the same dreams in life I do.

I know that is asking a lot - of any woman. Some people think I couldn't possibly find this where I am looking, if you know what I mean. I am convinced I can and I have come close to finding her.

Overcoming Myths

I met a girl online a few months ago, who after a few dates, shared with me her thoughts on on interracial dating.

She said white men were too shy - that they often delayed attempts to meet in person or send more pictures. She mentioned that they required weeks and weeks of e-mails to become comfortable.

She also said white guys tried to "work" the little bit of black culture they were familiar with (perhaps a Wayans or Spike Lee movie...or maybe a song, etc.) She told me some funny story about some guy who sang Kelis' Milkshake and Beyonce's Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It) in the same night. It was funny, she said, but a turn-off.

Then, she shared with me that she thought white men targeted black women because they thought them to be easy to get in bed.

Interracial Love Magazine: Our Take 

If she felt this way, about all this, think how many others feel the same way?

Although we generally support white men in their interracial dating efforts, you might have a negative encounter with one. It's inevitable.

This is the internet. You're exposing yourself to perversion, hidden racism trying to mask itself, immaturity, and passive dating practices.

I'm sure your Mother said you'd have to "kiss a lot of toads, before you found your prince." Be patient. Not all white men are the same. Trust us!

Because you meet online, it allows you the opportunity of getting to know quite a bit about a person before meeting them in person.

Use this to your advantage. It will save you a lot of time. Instead of rushing into romance, become friends first.

I hope this helped.

We want to thank our anonymous friend for his guest post on Interracial Love Magazine. We hoped you enjoyed it. We also hope you consider subscribing to Interracial Love Magazine.

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Also, if you are thinking about joining an interracial dating site, we recommend Interracial Attraction. Give it a try. It's free to sign-up and you'll quickly see why they are the biggest and the best.